1-8-00 14:58:35 -0400 (EDT)
One of my recurring childhood dreams was that I was in a world with wonderful toys. When I woke up, I found myself in my bed without any of those toys. I believed that if I would just hold on to something while waking up from a dream, I could bring it back with me. It took several nights for me to find out how to know the dream was ending, meaning it was time to grab something and keep it in my hands while waking up. To my disappointment, the toy still had disappeared.
Nobody in the real world ever talked about dreams. When I had nightmares I was comforted with the remark "that is was just a dream". In other words, it wasn't real.
Patricia Garfield's book was a great influence, probably the first book that told me that dreams were in many ways very interesting. I had always been intrigued about what happened during the many hours of unconsciousness during sleep. Garfield showed that at least for the dreaming part we can easily find out just by remembering dreams. Until then, I simply forgot nearly all my dreams like anyone else.
I started with writing down even the smallest fragments of dreams. I discovered that many dreams had a common theme I didn't like very much, so I changed the theme more or less by willing it. I never found out what exactly it meant, but even today I belief that you don't always need to understand all your dreams to do something about it.
During the first few years of my rediscovery of dreams I explored many sides of dreams. Poems or painting never worked for me though. I guess that's not who I am.
I probably started out with defining dreams as something with unlimited potential that waited to be explored. Even today I don't have a fixed definition of dreams.
The definition is still as open as it ever was (since I rediscovered dreams after childhood). One of the things that changed is that I now have more personal proof that dreams are not just inside our heads, but connect us with each other. To me dreams also seem to have access to future events. However, it isn't like anything discussed in the media. It's much more subtle
Most of the time my dreams still are symbolical representations of important issues in my life. In this respect I still consider dreams the same as a decade ago: a means to get great help from part of yourself on important topics whenever you want it or need it.
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